Turbulence Required: Lessons from Planes, CrossFit, and Childbirth on Building Real Resilience

I'm gripping the yoke of my Cessna 172, sweat pouring down my back in the 30+ degree Andalusian heat, the plane bucking left and right like an invisible rollercoaster. Mountain winds slam us with violent gusts, making even straight-line flight a battle. All I wanted to do in that moment is just to close my eyes and teleport to the ground, and make it all end…

This was just a few weeks ago. Having recently earned my private pilot's license, I had arrived at my local airfield to take a small, single-engine plane up for a flight, and the scene was less than ideal. The wind sock was stretched taut—a clear sign of gusty conditions. An instructor passing by remarked, "It'll be a bumpy ride up there," and I watched as a couple of other pilots cancelled their flights. Still, the conditions were within safety margins. I decided to go anyway.

Pre-flight check was uneventful and the traffic was light, so I was in the air pretty quickly. And that's where things started getting worse. The plane was thrown left and right. It was so bad that another pilot of similar experience to mine threw in a towel and announced on the radio that it was "too bumpy and he is not comfortable... turning back". For a split second, his decision made me question my own. But it also hardened my resolve. I decided to push on.

It did not get any better. I wanted to quit, but there is a catch: even if you turn back, you still have to land the plane. And land it well, regardless of the conditions, winds, or temperature. It is not a car where you can stop on a roadside and take a breather. You cannot turn off the weather. You have to pull yourself together and do your best on what is the most difficult part of piloting: landing. Whether you want it or not, feeling great or terrible. Quitting is not an option.

And that is when it struck me. This is grit. Not the fairytale version, but the real thing: maintaining composure and executing with finesse when things get tough. Situations like that make good pilots. And good athletes, parents, and professionals. It’s when you have to hunker down in the face of adversity, pull yourself together, and deliver your best. Not "good enough" based on how you feel, but literally your best. It's not about being a superhuman, but about not quitting and not putting your tools down when you’re tested. And that is what I am afraid is happening less and less these days.

Recently, my wife and I had the blessing of welcoming our beautiful daughter Olivia to this world. But the process was the opposite of beautiful. Olivia was four weeks premature when, Cami, my wife, broke water while not having even a slight shade of contractions. That led to an 18-hour, gruelling, induced and assisted labour which ended up being quite traumatic. A C-section at that point would've been a much easier option. And while we were preparing for the birth, both the NCT class and the consultants were saying that C-sections are on the rise. But not due to health concerns, but due to the convenience, ease, and predictability of delivery. You schedule a date, come in, the baby is delivered relatively painlessly, and you are out in a couple of days. A big disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and there are many valid medical reasons for this procedure. The point here is not to judge any individual choice, but to look at the societal trend as a metaphor for our growing preference for predictability over perseverance. Natural childbirth is unpredictable and requires grit, as it could be one hour or 24+, as some of our friends had. And again, you cannot quit—you have to see it through.

This demand for relentless, selfless perseverance isn't unique to parenting. I found the same raw truth on the sports competition floor. Another parallel is my long-running love of competitive sports, including MMA, CrossFit and endurance disciplines such as triathlon.

While training for them can be fun and great for your health, competing is completely different. It is painful, challenging, and I’ve had more situations than I can count when I was crying mid-way through and wanting to quit as everything was aching and difficult. But I had to push through. For myself and my team. I had to suck it up and cry on the other side. Spoiler alert: it always feels better once it is done, looking back and recounting it.

But grit isn't just reserved for these peak, high-stakes moments. Much of daily life, sports, or work is not sexy and exciting stuff. A huge part of it is just showing up and doing the work, whether you feel like it or not. It's the unglamorous consistency that gets results on the other end, even if that reward isn't obvious in the moment.

You might ask why I am telling you all this. Because I am feeling that there is a "grit deficit" which is growing and growing in our personal and professional life. People do not want to get out of their comfort zone. They quit even before they’ve started. I am not saying that everyone needs to grind all the time and be under pressure. But when the pressure builds up, it would be great to know you can rely on each other. After living in London for 20 years and being rained on thousands of times, only recently it seems people started making an issue of it to the point of cancelling their plans. This attitude inevitably bleeds into professional life, where a "discomfort" like a tough commute is increasingly seen as a valid reason to miss a critical meeting.

This aversion to grit is even more prominent in professional life. When building or running a high-growth, successful business, you know that it is always a cycle—meaning that things will get tough every now and then. And in tech, when they get tough, they usually get VERY TOUGH. Those are the exact times where you need to have grit but also ensure that people around you are the same and won't quit, will have your back, and you can rely on them. And they can rely on you. Otherwise, you might not even bother starting new enterprises, difficult projects, or any change. Without grit, all of them are doomed as people would fold at the first sign of trouble. You will have constant naysaying as people would rather quit before they start, with discomfort in sight.

This is why, over the years, I have completely inverted my hiring and interview process. While in my early days I was looking at the CV and professional achievements, now many of the things I viewed as questionable before, I actually see as a major strength:

1. Private Pilot's License? Before: An expensive, distracting, and perhaps reckless hobby. Now: Someone who has been trained to remain calm and execute flawlessly under extreme pressure. A pilot understands risk management, methodical processes, and the absolute necessity of seeing a critical task through to a safe conclusion. They know what it means when quitting is not an option.

2. A parent of several kids? Before: probably won't be too focused on work as the family takes priority. Now: has raised children through all ups and downs, knows how to handle themselves and others, plus is likely to be ruthlessly efficient to ensure all work gets done in the time allocated because they value being at home for a family dinner.

3. Ironman athlete? Before: likely a loner who would spend all free time training while being tired during working hours. Now: can push through pain and adversity when required to get to the finish line. Knows the importance of structure and training, but is also prepared for the unforeseen.

4. Shifting positions every 6 months? Before: ambitious and not afraid to take risks. Now: potentially becomes uncomfortable once the honeymoon period is over or when things are going through a slow period.

There are many examples like that, contributing to building real resilience, and you might disagree with some of the examples above, and it is fine. Plus, everyone's situation is individual and there will be exceptions. But the notion stays the same: grit has become a rare commodity and something I have learned to value more than just pure technical skills. To be honest, I would rather be surrounded by people who might not be the most technically brilliant but who will stay onboard and see any situation through. As otherwise, how would you learn and achieve big things?

True success, whether in the air, in a competition, or in business, isn't about avoiding the storm. It's about having the grit to fly through it. So I’ll ask you: where in your life have you been choosing the scheduled C-section over the turbulence? And what might you be losing in the process?